Feeling like a stranger…
I just got off the phone with Phoong…Hearing what’s happening back home, makes me feel so left out…Makes me feel like a stranger…Makes me feel like I am losing friends…Makes me feel no longer a player in the group but just a spectator…Makes me realise how boring my damn life here is compared to the interesting life my friends all are having..Makes me feel like I am no longer am one of them…Makes me feel like they are growing apart from me…Makes me hate my self for choosing to come here to study…Makes me realised that I might no longer be who I use to be…Makes me realise that they might not be the same as the time I left home…Makes me feel so lonely…Makes me feel that I have no friends neither here nor back home anymore…Makes me feel so depressed…Makes me feel so helpless bcos I can’t do anything to stop ppl from changing…Makes me feel like wanting to go home….
May 17th, 2006 at 12:26 am
HEY BEAT…i was sad whn i read ur blog. looks like some things have definitely changed back home. whn i came here, me too felt like you, but im better nw, hope that u can too. we are not spectator, but we r friends who still support each other no matter how far the distance. seriously, i feel how u feel, whn i know tat i wouldnt get any best friends here who is similiar to any of them back home. only because, our friends are too special to be the same as anybody.sumtimes me too wonder whether i made the right choice comin over. like i dun have to worry bout finances, bout work, just study and u have transport everywhere. nt like here. and the food is a czuse too.
but since we have take the steps, we must still go through it. out of our comfort zone, to explore and see 4ourselves,rite?
the day i left, what i wanted to tell each of our fren bt din make it , was never to change..although i know thy will no matter how close we are. and its through these circumstances, we learn to stand on our own and be who we really are.emotionally independent. u know what i mean? i will be here for u no matter what. just gve me a buzz anytime,k? i too hope to catch up on the news back home…but remember, changes are not always badlar, see how lor..k?
Love you lots, and be happy always. Miss u…
keep warm gal, Cheers.
May 17th, 2006 at 6:01 am
beat beat, no change !
got change ! i’m fater !
May 18th, 2006 at 12:33 am
hey beat….chan here(dun be disappointed cos its not phoong)…plz do not listen 2 soong…she’s a sakai…she’s not fat at all. if she’s fat, then im a dinosaur!!!!!! anyways…no one’s changed. i just got back from ns…hahaha…i got thinner(7kg…but tat’s not a major change)…hahaha….oh yeAH…im gonna create a new friendster profile. so once im done, i’ll add u,k?(only u..hehe..)gtg.will leave u another msg next time…(using phoong’s name)
May 26th, 2006 at 2:24 am
yo… pls lar… sis… u r not left out… by heart, u r still close to us… rite? miss u sis! must always take care of urself..the thoughts u had were just a lie from the devil.. everything is under His plans.. so not to worry.. He has his plans for u and io m sure it s perfect… k? love, tim